Friday Favorites

This week I thought I'd share with you some of my newest favorite things!  

1. Pull of Gravity Film by El Sawyer.  El recently spoke at SPARC Re-Entry conference in Homestead, PA about his journey from the streets to the studio. While he was incarcerated, he found a love for video.  In this film, he and his colleagues interview men who feel the pull towards street life and easy money, like the pull of gravity on their lives. It was insightful and inspiring. 


2. I just discovered this Celine Dion and Ne-Yo song! I have loved Celine Dion since Elementary school. And you can't deny Ne-Yo is smooth!

3. Making testimonial videos! I finished up two Incredible Years parenting classes this week, and a few of my clients sat down with me to record testimonials.  Their stories are so inspiring! Hopefully I'll get those edited and shared in the next few weeks. 

4. Babycakes! I can't believe Aunt Shauna's little guy is 1 year old already! He is so precious!

Don't forget to savor the little things! 

Have a blessed weekend! And TGIF!

Throwback Thursday: Life-Giving Friendships

I wrote this newsletter article a couple of years ago when I was finished up graduate school and was reminded about it after a conversation with a friend I really value, but haven't kept up with very well.  I'm continuing to learn about friendship and what my strengths and weaknesses are as a friend.  Over this past year, I have seen many of my friendships grow a lot deeper.  A few have stayed the same and a few have faded, but I've accepted now that is part of life. I am so, so grateful for my Life-Giving Friends, and I'm glad for this reminder to help me be a better friend!  Here is an inspiring message I heard back when I was writing this article by John Maxwell when he visited Highlands: http://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/covenant-friendships.  May your friendships be blessed! (Below are lovely pictures of a few of my life-giving friends, although I could probably name even more people who have been pouring into me this season!) Enjoy!

My Birthday Celebration!

My Recent Inspiration

Besties for SO LONG now!

My Go-To Road Trip Phone Buddy!

This Amazingly Fun Crew

And of course, this hipster chick.

Life-giving Friendship

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25

            As my time in Auburn, Alabama comes to an end, I’m realizing just how much I have learned these past two years: about God, about life, and about people.  One lesson I have truly learned is about life-giving friendships.  When I first moved 1,000 miles away from home, I remember having a moment thinking, “What am I doing? Why am I moving away from all of the close relationships that I have to a place where I don’t know a single soul?” I was terrified and had quite a few talks with God begging Him to help me make new friends and keep the old.  I realize now that God was molding me. In this transition, I learned not only how to make new life-giving friendships, but what it takes to keep life-giving friendships from a distance.  And as I’m sure you know already, it is NOT easy.

I believe that God created us to be relational, and He wants us to live connected to other believers.  I also believe that as fallen human beings, we are incredibly self-absorbed.  To have life-giving friendships, you first have to be a life-giving friend.  This means that, first, you must know what is a life-giving friend, and second, you must stop being so focused on yourself. 

A life-giving friend has a slightly different definition for every person, but simply, it is a friend who gives you energy and helps you be renewed.  For me, a life-giving friend is encouraging, thoughtful, and a good communicator.   She remembers to call.  She makes me laugh.  She doesn’t judge or criticize, but keeps me accountable when she needs to do so.  Importantly, a life-giving friendship is reciprocal—we both give to the other, rather than one person always doing the work.

Mainly, a life-giving friend intentionally builds a relationship, even when it is not easy.  So to be a life-giving friend, you must be able to step outside of your own stressors and make time to connect.  A convenient friend connects when they are bored and life is calm.  A life-giving friend commits time and energy to friendship when life is hectic.  I know I struggle to be a life-giving friend when my schedule fills up and my energy is drained.  It takes work, especially in those moments, to be the intentional and caring person I want to be rather than the selfish and greedy person that I am.  But being a life-giving friend isn’t about pouring out all your resources to every person you meet, but rather choosing the friendships that help you grow the most and devoting yourself to those.

The benefits of friendship are amazing.  I have been so blessed by friends at Auburn who cheer me up after a bad day at work, pray for me when times are tough, or help me move a million boxes in 90 degree heat.  But I have also been blessed by friends at a distance who take time to make a trip to see me, send a card via snail mail, call just to check in, or realize when I’m not being true to myself when I may not notice.  These friends can talk to me about my relationship with God, outside of a church building no less! We encourage each other in the Lord, and I can only imagine where I’d be without these friends.   As we grow to be more like Christ, the ultimate Life-giving Friend, our earthly friendships will be transformed as well.  My prayer for you is that God blesses you with life-giving friendships and gives you the strength to be a life-giving friend today.

Love in Christ,

                        Shauna Staranko

Create Your Space: Patio

I love to surround myself with beautiful things. I am a very visual person, so decorating is an important way I express myself and create spaces that are calming and enjoyable.  My parents and I recently vamped up their patio to enjoy in this sunny weather. Check out the before and after:

I love this space to read, have a drink, or just clear my head on a nice day. The outdoor carpet (Walmart) and the flowers (Penn State Master Gardeners) bring some nice color to the otherwise neutral space. The coffee table is key to making the space usable for me, and the comfy chairs are arranged for quality time with friends and family. 

What beauty have you surrounded yourself with today? Create your space to relax and be you!

Moms are Awesome!

I love this video from Kid President! 

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all the moms out there lovin' on their children! I'm so blessed to know so many wonderful women who inspire me to be a great mother one day. Moms are awesome!

Throwback Thursday: Search My Heart

For Lent of 2012, Buchanan put together a devotional. My contribution was inspired by Psalm 139 and the vulnerability I felt in reading these words. Two years later, I still find this challenging. I'm so grateful for the Lord's patience with me. 

I spent Easter 2012 at my friend Kim's in Auburn. This is from her garden!

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

In Psalm 139, David is praising God for how well God knows him, the God who knit him together in his mother’s womb.  David writes this song in boldness, asking God to search him for his impurities.  If you are anything like me, you are thinking, “Ask God to search me? Isn’t that a bit like praying for humility? Aren’t I just asking for disaster?” I find it frightening to ask God to reveal to me the areas I need to work on, particularly because I am afraid there will just be too many.  Can’t I just go on living in oblivion to my many sinful ways?

While it scares me to ask the Lord to search my heart and mind, I know it is the only way that I can truly grow in my walk with God.  I do many things each day that grieve the Holy Spirit and keep me from distant from God, but sadly I have no clue that I am doing them.  Whether it be thinking negative thoughts or placing things of this world before the things of heaven (e.g. watching TV way more than I read my Bible---guilty!), I am keeping myself away from the blessings of the life that God wants for me. 

So often, we get trapped in a one sided relationship with God where we ask Him to do things for us, but we never respond to what He desires.  He desires closeness with you! When you ask God to search you and show you any offensive way in yourself, you are opening yourself up to responding to His call.   When you humble yourself and surrender to His ways, you can grow in your relationship with the Mighty God.  

Are you ready to open yourself up to a deeper relationship with Him?  Are you striving to become more like Christ?  You cannot do it on your own.  We must surrender our hearts and minds–our whole lives—to the one true God and be tested by His Spirit.  Real change comes when we admit we are broken, and we ask the Lord to fix us.  Be searched this season as we reflect on Christ’s gift of salvation.  Open to God’s revelation of ways you can grow and prepare for the amazing life He is giving to you!

Heavenly God, You are the Holy of Holies! Search me, Lord, and know me. Look into my heart and reveal to me the areas of myself I need to work on.  Give me the strength of Your Spirit and help me to resist temptation.  Restore me and guide me to the life You desire for me. Help me to seek You everyday, and give me the boldness to focus on treasures in heaven and not on earth.  In the name of Christ Jesus I pray, Amen. 

5 Quick Tips for Saving Money

One important part of well-being is financial wellness. I try to be a good steward with the money God has provided for me, although I'm certainly not perfect.  I'm trying to build my saving in preparation for future purchases, so I'm being extra aware of where my money has been going. I use mint.com to help me see (in my very visual style--they have pie charts!) the categories on which I spend the most. For me, it's food/eating out/coffee! So if you have similar spending habits, here are the tips I've found most useful!

Lauren and I going to free admission night at the Warhol

1. Pack your lunch
Buying fast food for lunch can quickly add up (in your bank account, not to mention on your waistline). Instead of eating out or ordering in, bring lunch from home.  I love to bring left-overs in glass containers to heat up in the microwave.  I put them straight into lunch-size containers after dinner so I can grab and go in the morning. I also keep fruit snacks, greek yogurt, string cheese, and fresh fruit in the house so I can have a quick and yummy variety. If you are super disciplined, you could pack the night before. But hey, that's not me.

2. Shop at Aldi's
No, Aldi's isn't paying me for this one. But grocery shopping at Aldi's saved me big time when I was living on my own.  They have a great organic selection too, so while I'd love to shop at Whole Foods, I just can't afford it.  I buy what's in season and on sale. I also make a list beforehand, so I don't get distracted by impulse buys.  Along with groceries, I go meatless a few times a week. I love soup, salads, nachos with beans... I've never been one to crave meats, so I save lots this way.

3. Make coffee at home
I am addicted to coffee, so if you aren't, you are saving money right off the bat. But I love it too much to let it go. So instead of buying on my way to work, I make it (Or if you really want to make me happy, make my coffee for me. I'll love you forever...) at home and bring a travel mug for the car.  Coffee is a special treat for me when I buy it at Starbucks.  I signed up for the rewards program, so I can justify my purchases. :) I also love a good deal, and Dunkin Donuts has an awesome special right now--- $1 iced coffee from 2-6pm.  My amazing co-worker Shana got me hooked. It's my afternoon treat when I have to work a long evening. But it's so cheap and SO GOOD!

4. Find free fun
It is easy to spend $20-30 on a night out. I'm lucky to have friends who also like to save money, so we find ways to have fun that don't cost a lot. If we want to go out, we have a light dinner at home first then split an appetizer. When we get really lucky, we can find a free concert or a free admission night. The Andy Warhol had free admission Fridays in March, and Lauren and I took advantage. It was well worth the gas money!

5. Tithe
Letting money go does not always make "sense" or feel comfortable, but for me, tithing is the wisest investment I have made.  When I give back to God what is already His, I see blessings poured down ten-fold on me.  I can't explain it, but tithing works.  I trust Him, and He provides for me.

What ways have you found to save a few bucks?

Throwback Thursday: The Cure for Anxiety

I wrote this article almost 3 years ago for BCOG. I still struggle with anxiety, but I most likely always will to some degree.  I do think that I am much better at recognizing when I'm starting to worry and finding ways to be "still".  God does offer a cure for anxiety, we just have to be willing to "take our Daily Medication"!

The Cure for Anxiety

This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky: they don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?  Can any of you add a single cubit to his height by worrying? Matthew 6:25-27.

            In Matthew 6, Jesus is giving his “cure for anxiety”.   These verses have a special message for me, someone who has a tendency to be quite anxious at times.   I know my anxiety can be really harmful to my physical and mental health (not to mention my spiritual health).  Yet, my anxiety also drives me to work really hard and be successful.  I like to have a plan, and I like to be in control.  And so I worry: Am I working hard enough on this? Am I saving enough money for that?  Did I waste too much time going there?  I think, think, think—hoping that “thinking” will make some sort of difference or that working will solve all my problems. 

            I know to trust God.  I’ve heard it and said it many, many times, as I’m sure you have also.  Trusting God is vitally important to our Christian lives.  Trusting God is our air, our light, and our energy—I’m not doubting that.  God loves me more than the sparrow—yes, I believe that, too.  Does God not take care of the sparrow? He will also take care of you.  It makes perfect sense.

But, there’s one part I always leave out in my thoughts on this verse: “they don’t sow or reap or gather into barns.“ It’s an easy part to skip, but it is the part to which I really need to pay attention.  The birds are not working so that God will feed them.  How often do I think, “I am going to work really hard and plan it all out, and then I can trust God with this”?  All the time!  I “trust” God, but I’m trying to do all of the work.  It’d be like your mother-in-law agreeing that you are hosting Christmas dinner at your house this year, but then she comes in and does all the cooking and the decorating without even consulting you.   If she’s doing all the work, are you really in charge?  We do the same thing with God.  We work so hard and worry if we’re doing enough, when all the while He’s saying, “I’ve got it! Stop trying so hard and just rest in Me.”. 

As a therapist, anxiety is one of the most common conditions I see.  Anxiety is so interesting to me because it affects our lives in every dimension: the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual.  Key to conquering anxiety is involving all of these dimensions in our time with God.   Take time to rest and meditate on the Word of God.  Spend time in prayer with Him.   If you are resting your body, quieting your mind, and stilling your spirit in Him instead of working, you can really begin to trust God with all of your worries.

Love in Christ,

            Shauna Staranko