“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the
habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see
the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25
As
my time in Auburn, Alabama comes to an end, I’m realizing just how much I have
learned these past two years: about God, about life, and about people. One lesson I have truly learned is
about life-giving friendships.
When I first moved 1,000 miles away from home, I remember having a
moment thinking, “What am I doing? Why am I moving away from all of the close
relationships that I have to a place where I don’t know a single soul?” I was
terrified and had quite a few talks with God begging Him to help me make new
friends and keep the old. I
realize now that God was molding me. In this transition, I learned not only how
to make new life-giving friendships, but what it takes to keep life-giving
friendships from a distance. And as
I’m sure you know already, it is NOT easy.
I believe that God created us to be
relational, and He wants us to live connected to other believers. I also believe that as fallen human
beings, we are incredibly self-absorbed.
To have life-giving friendships, you first have to be a life-giving
friend. This means that, first,
you must know what is a life-giving friend, and second, you must stop being so
focused on yourself.
A life-giving friend has a slightly
different definition for every person, but simply, it is a friend who gives you
energy and helps you be renewed.
For me, a life-giving friend is encouraging, thoughtful, and a good
communicator. She remembers
to call. She makes me laugh. She doesn’t judge or criticize, but
keeps me accountable when she needs to do so. Importantly, a life-giving friendship is reciprocal—we both
give to the other, rather than one person always doing the work.
Mainly, a life-giving friend
intentionally builds a relationship, even when it is not easy. So to be a life-giving friend, you must
be able to step outside of your own stressors and make time to connect. A convenient friend connects when they
are bored and life is calm. A
life-giving friend commits time and energy to friendship when life is hectic. I know I struggle to be a life-giving
friend when my schedule fills up and my energy is drained. It takes work, especially in those
moments, to be the intentional and caring person I want to be rather than the
selfish and greedy person that I am.
But being a life-giving friend isn’t about pouring out all your resources
to every person you meet, but rather choosing the friendships that help you
grow the most and devoting yourself to those.
The benefits of friendship are
amazing. I have been so blessed by
friends at Auburn who cheer me up after a bad day at work, pray for me when
times are tough, or help me move a million boxes in 90 degree heat. But I have also been blessed by friends
at a distance who take time to make a trip to see me, send a card via snail
mail, call just to check in, or realize when I’m not being true to myself when
I may not notice. These friends
can talk to me about my relationship with God, outside of a church building no
less! We encourage each other in the Lord, and I can only imagine where I’d be
without these friends. As we
grow to be more like Christ, the ultimate Life-giving Friend, our earthly
friendships will be transformed as well. My prayer for you is that God blesses you with life-giving
friendships and gives you the strength to be a life-giving friend today.
Love in Christ,
Shauna
Staranko
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