Throwback Thursday: Search My Heart

For Lent of 2012, Buchanan put together a devotional. My contribution was inspired by Psalm 139 and the vulnerability I felt in reading these words. Two years later, I still find this challenging. I'm so grateful for the Lord's patience with me. 

I spent Easter 2012 at my friend Kim's in Auburn. This is from her garden!

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

In Psalm 139, David is praising God for how well God knows him, the God who knit him together in his mother’s womb.  David writes this song in boldness, asking God to search him for his impurities.  If you are anything like me, you are thinking, “Ask God to search me? Isn’t that a bit like praying for humility? Aren’t I just asking for disaster?” I find it frightening to ask God to reveal to me the areas I need to work on, particularly because I am afraid there will just be too many.  Can’t I just go on living in oblivion to my many sinful ways?

While it scares me to ask the Lord to search my heart and mind, I know it is the only way that I can truly grow in my walk with God.  I do many things each day that grieve the Holy Spirit and keep me from distant from God, but sadly I have no clue that I am doing them.  Whether it be thinking negative thoughts or placing things of this world before the things of heaven (e.g. watching TV way more than I read my Bible---guilty!), I am keeping myself away from the blessings of the life that God wants for me. 

So often, we get trapped in a one sided relationship with God where we ask Him to do things for us, but we never respond to what He desires.  He desires closeness with you! When you ask God to search you and show you any offensive way in yourself, you are opening yourself up to responding to His call.   When you humble yourself and surrender to His ways, you can grow in your relationship with the Mighty God.  

Are you ready to open yourself up to a deeper relationship with Him?  Are you striving to become more like Christ?  You cannot do it on your own.  We must surrender our hearts and minds–our whole lives—to the one true God and be tested by His Spirit.  Real change comes when we admit we are broken, and we ask the Lord to fix us.  Be searched this season as we reflect on Christ’s gift of salvation.  Open to God’s revelation of ways you can grow and prepare for the amazing life He is giving to you!

Heavenly God, You are the Holy of Holies! Search me, Lord, and know me. Look into my heart and reveal to me the areas of myself I need to work on.  Give me the strength of Your Spirit and help me to resist temptation.  Restore me and guide me to the life You desire for me. Help me to seek You everyday, and give me the boldness to focus on treasures in heaven and not on earth.  In the name of Christ Jesus I pray, Amen.